Our Birth Story

Once words are released, committed to paper (the web), their ownership is no longer solely that of the author. I have kept this story inside and shared verbally this long, in order to keep it close to my heart. Once out there, it can be criticized, interpreted, even changed for each reader. I wasn't ready to allow that to happen (never will be). This is our story. However, I find myself torn with keeping it completely mine verses the need to document the event and thus releasing it. My telling of this story in no way tries to profess superiority or authority regarding the birthing process. This is simply our story.



In literature, water is often described as a place to go to find clarity and meaning. It is life giving, even womb like. Water is mailable. It can take different forms. The Earth was baptized in water during the great flood. When the waters receded all was reborn. The sea is the ultimate representation of woman - life giving, nurturing, peaceful and raging, supportive. This metaphor has always held my fascination.


As a child, we playfully shriek and giggle after stomping in a puddle of water. Physically, exercise done in water is supportive and strengthening. Spiritually, in my faith it is through complete submersion we are baptized. It is only through the "breaking of the water" that a baby can leave the womb, pass through the birth canal and be born. After all, our bodies are made mostly of water. When I learned of water birth and laboring in water, I could not help but desire to experience this method. Never could I have imagined the magic I would find while journeying to the water.


Friday, February 26, 2010 was the day I visualized Olaya joining me. For months I spoke to my womb, explaining my need to have Abete by my side for the delivery. Although two weeks early, I was confident this was the time. Wanting a complete natural delivery, I found ways to "gently" encourage Olaya to begin her journey. With Abete home, at 9:30 a.m. we met my midwife, Julie at the clinic. When I was checked I was already 75% efaced and dilated to a 3. (Evening primrose oil worked.) Although she felt I would go anytime on my own, she stripped my membrane to assist in that process.




My previous two deliveries began in the middle of the night with my water breaking. Olaya was going to be different. I had felt a few tinges start around 11:30 a.m. It wasn't until my friend, Vanessa called (not knowing anything about me wanting to go into labor) to see if I wanted her birthing (yoga) ball for when I went into labor. I laughed when I realized I was in labor and did ask her if I could borrow her pump to blow mine up.



I am so very grateful she acted on the prompting to call me at that exact time. I know she felt like she was intruding on my special event but I wanted to be surrounded by friends. Later as I labored she made Abete and I lunch, kept record of my contractions and mostly just loved me. Thank you Vanessa.



I labored in the comfort of my home with Abete, my mother, my sister Sharen for a little bit with Belle, my dear friend Kelly (you may remember she rushed me to urgent care when I cut my leg), my friend and neighbor Janis and Vanessa. I was able to enjoy cinnamon rolls, laughter with friends and the most amazing foot massage. We called Kelly's husband Chad and another brother in our ward, Don Despain, to come over and perform a blessing.



When Chad and Don arrived I was on all four's laboring. I was not really wanting to move so they knelt down and gave my my blessing right there. I don't remember now really anything that was said. However, I remember feeling so much at peace. I felt strengthened and assured all would be well along this journey. When they concluded, I was ready. I was ready for Olaya to come.



Through out the afternoon hours I was in contact with Julie. My contractions were one minute apart and lasting a minute or so but they were not getting very intense. I was able to talk and laugh with everyone and only close my eyes and work through the contractions for a few seconds at the peak. Julie counseled me that once I was unable to keep talking, as the intensity was stronger, it would be time to come in.



By 6:00 p.m. (the afternoon flew by) my body was starting to need rest. I either wanted this to get going or take a nap. After a call to Julie, we decided it was time to go to the clinic and see how I was progressing. With my first deliveries only 4 & 6 hours this was already my longest labor. Julie speculated if we broke my water I would go pretty fast considering my previous deliveries.



At 6:30 p.m. I was 4cm. We decided to walk over to the hospital, get admitted and break my water. The walk is not very far down a hall, up some stairs, across the sky walk, down another hall, up another flight of stairs and then to my room. With every step I felt closer to my angel. Contracting along way, I thought how spoiled I am. The pioneer women walked and walked while in labor only to stop along the trail to deliver. I had hospital bed fully equipped waiting for me after only 10 minutes of walking.

By 7 pm. I was in my hospital gown, bouncing on the yoga ball and being monitored for the required 30 minutes. Julie was with me every moment. Abete stood calmly by me. My mother rubbed my back like we learned in birthing class. Taron and Keaton were in the waiting room. Through contractions I was still able to carry on a conversation.



At 8:17 p.m., while laying in the bed, Julie broke my water. Immediately the contractions hit like a wave I could not surface from. They pounded me forcefully. All the pain coping skills I had learned were not working. I really felt like I was drowning....until I got off that bed.



I returned to the yoga ball while the birthing/laboring tub was filled. This labor is right for me and my baby. I started reciting my mantras. I closed my eyes going inside, calling on the strength from deep within. The strength you don't know you have until the moment you need it. I took long deep breathes. I heard a voice from within come out with my exhalation. OHHHHHHHHHH. Everything around me disappeared. I knew they was there but it was also just me. Just me and Olaya coming together. I spoke to her. As I labored, I praised her for her work in coming to me. Good job baby. Come baby come.

At 8:35 p.m. I walked the few feet to the birthing tub. In class I was worried, asking what do I wear in the tub. In my bag I brought a sports bra to cover myself. I am certainly not the woman willing to show all to complete strangers. This is where the magic began.

As I approached the tub, in what I can only describe as a most primal instinct, I removed the hospital gown leaving me exposed...surprising even me. Reflecting on the action now, I can see how natural it is to be unclothed, unrestricted to welcome my baby into this world. I reached for the water like a traveler coming home. Instantly I felt safe, supported. This labor is right for me and my baby. Julie had me kneel with my belly to the back of the tub, resting my arms. Abete sat in a chair directly in front of me holding my hands. He didn't say much (as I instructed a few weeks earlier). He just held me, allowing me to work, knowing he was present.

The contractions continued to get stronger. I went further inside. I called upon my grandmothers. I felt them encouraging me. My mom continued to massage my back. From this point there was almost silence. Julie kept music playing. She talked me through contractions. At each end she told me I had done well. It was that simple. I remember a split second thought, at the most intense part of a contraction pleading to take this from me. Then I remembered the classes were we submerged both hands in buckets of ice water. No matter how painful it felt, eventually it would end and I was fine. I could do this as well.

My chanting became deeper. OOOOOOOOOOOlaya. From inside the sounds came from my body.....OOOOOOOOOOOOOO........OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........Olaya. ( I joked with everyone it was good we named her as we did. Can you imagine chanting XXXXXXXXXXXavier.) I didn't care how poltergeist I sounded. This labor is right for me and my baby. I did what it took to stay on top of the contraction.

Nearing 9 p.m. I knew it was time. At the hospital you can only labor in the tub, not deliver. Knowing this, I turned to Julie and told her it was time. She seemed surprised. I told her again, "It is time." She had me stand so she could monitor the baby but once out of the water, the contraction was to difficult for me to stand through. I told her again, "It is time." I don't know how I knew.

Typically during transition, I lose my mind. When my body begins to push on its own, I think my mind checks out for a while. Not this time. I never experienced that fear that had swept over me in my previous deliveries. Somehow, the water supported me through that transition. When the contractions become more than just a contraction, I didn't feel the physical change. I just knew I needed to get to the bed otherwise Olaya was having a water birth.

Quickly we went to the bed where Julie immediately checked me. At exactly 9 p.m. she said I was a 9. We had discussed my desired birthing position so I had to move fast. She told me to roll over. I wanted to deliver on all fours, hands and knees. I didn't want to. The contraction was holding me in place. She sternly told me if I wanted to deliver the way I had planned I better move now. As the contraction ended I rolled over. Looking over my shoulder I saw Julie getting her gown and gloves on. Once she looked at me I knew she was ready and I looked back ahead.

As the next contraction came on, I began to push. Normally I will resist this feeling through a few contractions. Not this time. I knew I needed to work with it. I made a grunting/moaning sound so low I wasn't sure it was me as I closed my eyes, journeyed inside to that place of strength and I pushed feeling that ring of fire. I didn't fight it. I pushed through it. Olaya came in one push, head to toe at 9:02 p.m. only 30 minutes after entering the tub and 45 minutes from when my water was broke. (I did not tare. Her head was perfectly round. I recommend this position to any mother to try for delivering. It is so much easier on the baby and mother than laying in the bed.)
She was on my chest within seconds of being born ( of course after they had to tell me to turn around and that she was here.) Within a few moments she was nursing happily. Julie kept the cord attached for around 45 minutes while we waited for the placenta to detach and deliver. This gave Olaya and I time lots of time to be close to each other. I don't want this to sound strange but with she and I naked, I felt it was the way it should be. Chest to chest. My body warming her, welcoming her into this world. (The nurses could not whisk her away...she was still attached to me. That was also new for me. With the boys, they were both taken and weighed and checked before I really got to hold them much.)

While holding her I said it one last time.....This labor is right for me and my baby.

From day one, Olaya has been a peaceful happy baby. She only cries when truly needing something. She is easy to soothe. From the first week she has slept 4-6 hours a night. Now, I only get up once a night with her. I attribute her calm, pleasant nature to the peaceful entrance we provided her in coming to the world. I believe the water was magic. Maybe next time we will try for a water delivery.

By noon the next day....15 hours old, the doctors felt we were both ready to go home. Olaya was nursing well, I was feeling great and there was no reason to stay any longer.....ok one reason. Since we were being charged for the day, we stayed until dinner.

Olaya and I have a connection that can never be broken. Through this natural birth Olaya and I worked together, in complete harmony to come together. With our birth experience I see why the metaphor works. As I supported and protected Olaya in my womb, the tub supported and protected me. I can never thank Julie, my mom and Abete enough for supporting and encouraging me along this path and making it all possible.