South East Idaho Youth Football League Championship

Pocatello has one of the most impressive indoor football arena's in the nation

(considering our 50,000 population).

Watching my baby run out on the field, hearing his name over the pa,

and dressing up in hunter orange was a memory I will never forget.

This year our team went undefeated during the regular season.

Earning the nickname "Rudy" came with lots of frustration.

My little giant weighs in as the smallest guy on the team but

by all accounts has the biggest heart.

At one point in the season, Taron discussed wanting to quit.

He just wasn't feeling valued or needed on the team.

The only thing I could say was to see it to the end.

I told him one day he would look back on this time in his life.

I explained it wasn't very likely that he would say,

"I just wish I would have quit a few weeks sooner".

Rather I imagine he would say it,

"I was a part of a championship football team."

I think he is very happy he saw it through.

We sure had fun in the stands cheering him on.

Olaya even sported her football leggings.

Big hit.

In the end....true champions played like champions.

At every practice and at every game these boys chant...

Who are we...BUCS.

Who are we...BUCS

What do we have? ....Heart

I wanna be a champion.

I wanna be a champion.

I will be a champion.

I will be a champion.

WHO ARE WE....BUCS

uh, ah it's on baby

uh ah it's on baby

Yes boys. You are champions.

The final score may have shown defeat.

But now you can say

I AM A CHAMPION.

I AM A CHAMPION.

Go BUC's. This momma Buc sure loves you all.



My San Antonio Home

Whenever asked, my response is that San Antonio is my home.  This past week I have wondered if I felt that way be because of my love for the city itself or the love of the city is because of my love for two people that resided there. 

Today in primary the lesson was given out of the Ensign.  She showed a picture of the inside of the San Antonio Temple.  Since its construction I have identified this as my favorite temple.  With the passing of my grandfather this week, my heart lept as she mentioned San Antonio.  It is my home.  My heart rests there with those I love.  While my grandparents are no longer there, this was their home and the place they loved.

With my children, I plan to return there as soon as possible.  I will pass to them a love for San Antonio.

I saw on my sister's blog that my grandfather's obituary is posted.  I have placed it here as well.

It is very easy to take those we love for granted.  I just thought I would have one more visit to be with my grandpa.  I am grateful for my upbringing in Idaho.  This a wonderful place to raise a family.  However, right now I am mourning all the moments I didn't get to have with my grandpa.  I am jealous of my Contreras cousins and their closeness to my grandparents there.  Yet, through the atonement of Christ, I know I will see him again.  I am confident we will have time, all the time we desire to be together.  I love you grandpa. 

Magdaleno "Country" Contreras was born July 22, 1924 in Cementville, Texas. He went to be with our Lord on October 26, 2010 at the age of 86. He proudly served in the U.S. Army in WW II and later in the Korean Conflict, receiving the Purple Heart and Korean Service Medal with 4 Bronze Service Stars. He was retired from the United States Postal Service. He was preceded in death by his parents, Florentino Contreras and Maria Rodriguez Contreras, his beloved wife, Olga M. Contreras, and one brother, Abel Contreras. He is survived by his children, Roger Contreras and wife Lupe, Nora Martinez, Victor Contreras and wife Barbara of Chubbuck, Idaho, Odilia Hernandez and Elvira Pizano; 20 grandchildren and 24 great-grandchildren; numerous nieces and nephews. Visitation will be at Sunset Northwest Funeral home on Bandera Road on Monday, November 1, 2010 from 6:00 P.M. to 9:00 P.M. with a rosary at 7:00 P.M. The funeral procession will depart the funeral home on Tuesday, November 2, 2010 at 9:30 A.M. for a 10:00 A.M. mass at St. Mary Magdalen Catholic Church, 1710 Clower Street with interment to follow at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery with Army Military Honors. Please visit www.sunsetnwchapel.com

Mi PaPa

One of my most favorite memories of my grandfather is from when I had flown out to San Antonio to see my family when Taron was little and I was pregnant with Keaton.  I was married to Stephen but he had just changed jobs and didn't have vacation time so I flew out on my own.

My grandfather is a man of few words.  But with him, sometimes words were not needed.  As I prepared to depart his home and head for the airport, he came into the kitchen.  Approaching me he extended his arms out, took my head in his hands tipping my head forward and kissed me on the forehead.  It was a tender kiss.  He held me there for just a moment and then looked me in the eye and nodded his head up and down.  His love radiated through me.  I didn't need gushy accolades of love.  I knew. 

That was many years ago and the feeling of his lips on my forehead and the look in his eyes still lingers.

My last memory of him is from when I flew to San Antonio to be with my grandmother before she passed away.  With her last days counting down, PaPa stayed by her side making her every need his priority.

I don't recall a time these two were ever overly affectionate in my presence. 

Yet, their love was always abundant.

Grandpa even played the Spurs game for Grandma during those last few days.

Over the last many years, Grandpa has been by Grandma's side caring for her every need and desire.

It has been a year and a half since she left.

Today he rejoined her.

Although I couldn't be there to say goodbye,

I can still feel his kiss on my forehead.

(My handsome PaPa)

 (2007- My grandparents

Aren't they beautiful?)

 2007-

Victor-my dad, Nora, Vera. Lila, Roger

Just before my grandmother passed,

I was able to spend some time with my grandpa

in her room.  He held her hand.  Although this hand didn't have his ring,

he put it on his pinkie so it could be in the picture.

Never had I seen a man so in love with his wife, then at that moment.

My heart is sad to let you go.

You didn't get to see your granddaughter that was named after your wife.

I know you were very happy to have Olaya carry grandma's name.

I wish the miles didn't keep me from you. 

I wish I had more time, more memories, more knowledge of you.

But today I think of your reunion with Grandma.

I don't think you could get through this life any longer without her.

Thank you for loving me.

I love you PaPa.

Until we meet again.

Mozart

Picture speaks for itself.

We have a master in training.

Harassment

As defined by the all knowing Wikipedia harassment is "commonly understood as behavior intended to disturb or upset."  And legally it is thought to be a "behavior which is found to be threatening or disturbing."

Just to be clear....a phone call made to request information is not harassment especially when it was never answered.  Threatening someone with a knock on the door from INS is.  The latter meets the definition of harassment because it amounts to playing upon a persons fear of being taken from him family...uncool.

Funny thing...we have INS on speed dial....At this point we are on a first name basis. 

Next....there is a function on most phones that allows you to block an unwanted caller.  If anyone out there is being "harassed" by a caller, please call your phone provider and ask them to block the unwanted number.  It is a simple non-dramatic way to stop unwanted calls.  I spoke to the police today and they said if this does not work, start documenting calls from this number.  Provide phone records showing consistent and persistent calls and save voice mail messages that show frequency of unwanted calls and can show the calls having threats or vulgarity. 

Harassment is a serious activity as it is a serious accusation.  Neither should be taken lightly.

Sadness

This post is deeply personal and while I have debated writing, this is my space to write and these thoughts are so strong I must put them to paper to purge them from my thoughts.

It is no surprise my family is in the middle of a fight to keep us together.  While any marriage battles to have success, our marriage has another player involved.  The government of the United States of America.  This player has the power to alter the lives of not only the two of us but also four children.  Two we share together and two that have come to call my husband their second father.  Regardless of the success and or failure we are having in our personal relationship, this player corrupts my thoughts and challenges my resolve to endure.

Through the guidance of an attorney we have been raging a war with this player for the last 18 months.  At every turn we have been met with resistance.  Call it a roadblock, barrier, bump in the road....call it what you may.....in the end it is pain.  It is more nights my children wonder if their father will be sent away.  It is more time we feel taken from us.  It is more money.  It is more of a desperate feeling of paralysis.  It is more realization that our family can be broken, shattered no matter our faithful effort to stay together.

Most recently we have been working on yet another form to file....one last hope.  In order to file this form we either require a signature from a third party (whom I will not mention by name) or numerous letters from people that know my husband from a few years ago.  According to the attorney, both are possibilities, while one is more desirable than the other.

Recently we learned this person has chosen not to sign the form.  While we have another option (the letters) my heart is full of multiple emotions.  The only emotion I will mention is sadness.....not for us, but for this person.

I know this may sound patronizing and truly it isn't.  Genuinly I am sad a person can get to such a point that basic humanity is as risk.  Sad a person can not see past their own pain and do the right thing.  Which makes me sad for their pain.  Their pain must be great to hold on to it for so long.  I am sad this person can not see the result of their decision and feels putting the desire to cause pain more of a deciding factor than recognizing these children may possibly loose their father.  A father, while flawed, does his best to be there for his children.  Taking that away from him, will hurt him (I believe this is the desired effect.)  I get that.  I see the motivation behind this persons decision.  But he won't be the one to suffer the most.  How is taking a good father away from his children ever the right thing to do?

So tonight, I am sad.  Not for my family.  We will overcome and endure.  We will continue this battle and in the end, we will be triumphant.  Tonight I am sad for a person that had the opportunity to do the right thing for a child and chose to look away.  When we can look at a child and disregard their needs, place our own pain before theirs and stand proudly by and justify this action.......all of us should be sad.

Little White Ridge

On Sept 17 I realized why my nights had been frequently interuppted for the last four weeks.  She never really fussed, fevered or behaved any different. 

Only, she wanted to nurse all night long.

This threw me since she has slept 6-7 hours without waking almost since birth.

That Friday morning, as I was feeding her breakfast, there it was.

A beautiful perfect white ridge just shouting, "it was me...it was me."

Finally able to capture a shot of her tooth, she already has two. 

The second broke through a few days later.

Since their arrival, Olaya has discovered blowing bubbles, putting her lips together to vibrate them and singing all the time.  When she doesn't like that I am hiding rice cereal in her fruit she lets everyone know by blowing her lips and laughing.  She still doesn't want to roll over but has been scooting on her bum for a few weeks now.  She will pull herself into a crawling position but no forward motion to report as of today.

I will say......

I believe in magic!

Spend a few moments with her.....look in her eyes...allow her to penetrate your soul with her gaze....

watch her smile break

and you will believe in magic too.

I had to throw this in.  Olaya never sucked her thumb....she did chew on her hands...

however...

if she gets ahold of her feet......

all you can hear are slurping sucking sounds.

Really Olaya???  Why the feet?

Unsolicited

This afternoon as Keaton and Belle were home from school and I was getting their snack ready, Keaton looked over at me and said, "Mom you look really good in those pants."  I thanked him and thought finally my efforts are starting to pay off.  Then I noticed him still looking at me and he said, "Wow mom, your jeans are loose on your legs."

I LOVE YOU SON!!!!

Do you have any idea how long it has been since I had that feeling?  And I didn't even have to say, "How do I look?"  I bought these pants early pregnancy, after I had lost 17 lbs to morning sickness and before baby bump was starting to show.

Today I am grateful for a body that is forgiving, a determination to change and a plan to make things happen.  

I am told....

it is darkest just before dawn............

It is pretty dark right now.