What a Day

I really do believe I have some fabulous children. Overall they do what is right and they have good hearts. However, that is not to say they don't give me my share of challenges.

Yesterday Taron asked if his friend Tyson could come home with him after school to play. Being the one day of the school week we don't have football practice, I consented. The boys decided to play with their air soft guns out in the field behind the house. Then another school friend came over, Joseph, so I had four boys running around outside with guns. All seemed well when I would check on them.

Then as I was at the computer trying to write a letter I hear some desperate cries from Keaton then a gun shot and then serious screaming. I go out to find that Keaton has been shot in the neck at close range with the air soft gun and is bleeding a little.

It seems the boys all decided to point their guns at Keaton claiming two of them were not loaded. Long story short, I sat all four boys down and I discussed how disappointed I was in their bad choice to break to first rule when playing with the guns and then explained what could have happened had the shot hit his face. I didn't want to know who had the idea to all point at Keaton or who actually shot him. They all made a bad choice, including Keaton, to point the guns at people.

As punishment Joseph had to go home and I told Taron and Keaton they would not get to go with me to take Tyson to meet his mom at a store grand opening that was having all sorts off free stuff. We had all planned to attend this together. As I left the house Keaton was in hysterics crying that since he got shot he shouldn't have to be punished. While I felt bad he was in pain, it does not change the fact that he also disobeyed a gun safety rule.

Belle and I had a great time at the grand opening, arriving home with many free items but found my front door locked and no children in the house. Yes, Taron and Keaton were gone. Generously Taron had left a note on the kitchen counter saying he loved me and they were going to their grandma Janie's, a two mile walk away.

I jumped in my car and called her house but only got the answering machine. I called their dad to let him know and I searched the road as I drove. I got to her house and had not seen them. This is the point as a parent you have extreme emotions. First I was angry the boys disobeyed. Second they left the house without asking. Third I was scared for their safety. The fear seemed to press upon me stronger than the anger. I then drove to my parents house and started driving back.

And there they were. Walking and laughing as they walked down the busy road. I pulled over in a large driveway and waited for them to come to me. They were first all laughs and smiles but as they saw me their faces went pale. I didn't say anything. Taron was the first to get in the car and he tried to say something right away but I told him, "DO NOT SAY ANYTHING." I knew if they started talking, I would start talking and I would say things that I should not.

Once home, and after a few minutes of decompression on my part, I sat them down and again explained my disappointment and what all had proceeded. Keaton had decided to leave out of anger and to show me how upset with me he was that he could not go to the grand opening. I went over their bad choices but I found my emphasis was not on that. I focused on the fear and the danger they placed themselves in. I explained how worried I was about not knowing where my babies were. What if someone saw you walking and offered you a ride because it was hot and you guys had said yes and instead they drove off with you somewhere? How would I know you were even gone? So many things could have happened.

They seemed genuine in their apologies and understanding of why what they did was wrong. In consequence, they are grounded for one week and I have to house cleaners at my disposal. They spent the evening scrubbing walls, sweeping and mopping floors and doing laundry. They ended up scrubbing the shower in their swim trunks but I don't think they thought that was punishment.

I love my children. I want them to make good choices. I want to know they are safe. I know they will stumble at times and I am trying to balance being firm and consistent with showing love and mercy. It is hard to be calm when children have done something very bad and potentially dangerous. I think all of us learned a few things yesterday . . .

oh I must not forget, Keaton says during all this that Taron has something else he needs to tell me but is afraid. It seems Taron agreed to buy two bracelets from a classmate for $7 each and needed $14 to take to school for Monday. OH NO HE DID NOT AGREE TO THAT. I called another parent and she said he son had done the same thing but only had $5 so that was what he offered. Nice bracelets as they are, I am not paying $7 for one...maybe for both. I will be speaking with that child's mother because I don't think it is right for kids to be wheeling and dealing at school.

In the end all was well. We missed family movie night that my sister Maria had planned but I had to follow through on the boys punishment. Sad it means I have to miss out also. The joys or parenthood.