25 Days and Counting

I don't remember feeling this anxious for my babies to come in the past. Maybe because I never had to worry about dad being in town for the delivery or being able to make it. We discuss all the plans and options but in the end there is nothing in our control (aside from scheduling delivery and we are completely against that).

A few weeks ago, in my midwife birthing class they had us discuss our greatest fear associated with delivery. There was quite a range from emergency C-section to wanting baby to be born perfect. Two of us had a similar fear. The mother next to me is due the same time and her husband has been in Africa for the last few months visiting his sick father. Her fear was her husband would not be here with her. My fear is the same.

I explained I have done so much work trying to appreciate the journey of pregnancy. I have come to understand and celebrate the entire birthing process but if my husband is on the road I am worried I will fight my body and interfere with Olaya's journey. The midwife asked me point blank, "So what if he misses it? What will that mean?" When it comes down to it, it doesn't really mean anything. It won't change our love for her. Next they had each of us visualize our labor and delivery. She really took us through the entire thing. Then we had to deal with our fear. I visualized laboring with out Abete and only with the other support people I have chosen to be with me in delivery. Again, the midwife worked us through our fear. It was quite overwhelming but in the end Olaya was in my arms and her daddy came through the door loving her completely. All was well. That is where we are with it. As much as I want and he wants to be there, we are both ok if the timing just does not allow for it. My labors are usually 4-6 hours (don't hate me).

Anyway, that has not stopped us from preparing together. This weekend was all about nesting. I am so happy to have a husband that does not mind working hard to make his wife happy. He put the crib together, helped me move furniture (he moved, I pointed) put headboards on beds, attached mirrors to dressers, moved the bed again and all while smiling at my every request. Then he went and learned how to change break pads on my suburban. I still have to hang the pictures and things on the walls (then I will take a picture) but overall the room is ready for baby. Car seat has been in the suburban since last Sunday (boys put it in saying they wanted to get use to getting in on the other side).

I have 25 days to go. Taron came 14 days early and Keaton came 7. I am feeling pretty great aside from awkwardly enormous. In the evening I have been having a little bit of back pressure but nothing to get excited about. I am going to get my yoga ball blown back up and start spending some time on it each day. Other than that, nothing to report.

Well...one thing...even though I have visualized the birth without my hubby there.....I am also visualizing Olaya giving me enough notice to have her dad at the birth. I talk to her and explain the importance for him to see her enter this world. I speak of his greatness and assure her he will do everything to be here when she is ready to come. I believe in the power of the mind and also the power of faith. I have faith everything will be as it should be. I pray Heavenly Father will provide a way for Abete to witness this birth if it be his will. I pray I will be strong along this journey and meet each step as it comes.

Betz left today back to Vernal for work. As much as I don't want a long labor, here is to visualizing Olaya giving me more than a 6 hour notice of her arrival.