We have really been working as a family to treat each other with kindness in word and deed. I think it has been working. The TV has been off and we are interacting more. However this little conversation between myself and Keaton makes me wonder.
Me- Keaton it is time to get in the shower.
Keaton- How about Taron goes first tonight.
Me- Keaton I am asking you to go get in the shower.
Keaton- OK, Mom. I will go get in.
Me- Thank you Keaton that makes me very happy when you listen and do what mom asks of you.
Keaton, as he is walking out of the kitchen to the bathroom being obedient- It makes me mad.
He said it in a way that was honest. No response was necessary and I just shook my head. We are making progress??
Yep! At least he will do it and wont rebell
ReplyDeleteI think he is so sweet, so honest. Sometimes I think these things turn into a battle of wills. I've been trying to figure out how to make it something else; I want my children to understand that I am not forcing my will upon them just because I can. In trying to reach this understanding I try to validate their feelings. I have been the child--I am still the child! I know what it is to be asked to do things that are undesirable. And I know the reward of doing them and the consequence of the opposite. And so I appreciate his honesty, because the place where there is communication is usually better than the place where there is none. I try to validate the feelings present and give an outpouring of love, letting my child know how grateful I am that they would listen to me, putting my will above their own. In the end, sometimes there is still anger, but more often than not, a better understanding. (Sorry about this really long comment!)
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