I Wish I Could Take Away His Pain

Through my yoga instruction I have learned it is not uncommon to become very emotional during continued yoga practice. Well I was not prepared for what happened tonight when Keaton and I did PM Yoga.

Thanks to the encouragement of our friends, Keaton has begun a journey and I am going to take it with him. Our friend David has become Keaton's trainer/mentor as he tries to get healthy. I can't believe the motivation and passion this young boy has now that he has a partner pushing and encouraging him. This is Keaton's deal. He goes over, works out and receives instruction on his own and then comes home and shares it with us. As I also want to get healthy I figure what is good for him is good for me.

The boys came home this evening from a weekend with their dad and I was excited to show Keaton all the workout videos we can do off of netflix instantly. He agreed to do one with me as long as it was not yoga. we started a Crunch dance workout and it didn't take very long for him to say it was ok to do the yoga one. The video was fun but very fast.

As Keaton and I worked through the movements I would look over and see him crying. He mentioned how he hates his body and doesn't understand why he is so different from everyone else. He tried to get into the positions but at times his body was not flexible enough and he felt more resistance than success. His tears pained my heart. This is my baby. He is beautiful in every way and when he hurts, I hurt. This yoga session brought Keaton's emotions to the surface pretty swiftly and both he and I shed tears.

Yoga makes you become intimate with the capabilities of your own body. As Keaton has worked out on the treadmill and done jumping jacks each day, I think tonight he stopped and felt limitations and places where he wants to make his body respond better. It was a teachable moment for us as a partnership. He needs to have success and moments that bring his rewards so I don't think yoga is an exercise he will be doing everyday but we will use it to mark his advances from time to time. Gradually as he observes his body moving through the movements with greater success, he will know his other activities are paying off.

I am proud of my son. He has a very visible challenge that he is consciously trying to tackle. He has set his goals and is working hard to achieve them. I am grateful for good friends that could see me struggle with this aspect of our lives and were willing to say something and offer their help. I am grateful for the example of my son to help me work more diligently to be healthy. This has been a lifelong struggle for me and I know Keaton has learned from my bad example but the great thing is it is not to late to change. We are doing this together. I am ever so grateful for my husband that loves me unconditionally. He supports me and encourages me in my desires. I hope...no... future blogs will share our success. We are going to San Antonio, Texas on May 30 and we both want to be proud of our bodies when we visit the water parks and Abete and I are planning to go to Fiji Day in Hawaii this October so I have another motivator to keep us on track.

Keaton, Mom is here for you and I don't want you to ever think you are not handsome ( beautiful). You are a loved child of our Heavenly Father. I know we can do this together. We have really seen each other through some very tough times of which you had to be stronger than any child should be. Now I am here to support you and I will carry, pull, drag, push and hold your hand through this journey. I love you!! Mom.