Cause I can not seem to find me. I am thrilled to be expecting but right now I don't know who this person is and where I went. I can't keep anything down. I am extremely tired. My body hurts from puking. I am not sleeping well and I find myself crying all the time for multiple reasons. I want to be happy and positive but right now I am just not feeling it...at all. I am excited but the sickness is taking my attention and making me a little sad. I whisper to my little one to be patient with me. I already love her/him so much and want only the best for this precious spirit and I am feeling my body is not allowing me to enjoy this time. I try to remind myself this is only temporary. Some days are better than others but overall I won't deny, this is tough. I am reminded about finding joy in the journey. I am trying. Last night I asked my father for a blessing. I am grateful for his faithfulness that I can call upon him at any time for priesthood power. My intent was not to make the sickness go away but to help me deal with it better. His blessing reminded me that Heavenly Father knows me and wants me to understand the gift I have and not take it for granted. Can I somehow tell Heavenly Father I would appreciate this gift even without the undesirable side effects??? My goal is to be positive and find joy in my situation. I am grateful to be given the opportunity to bring a choice spirit to Earth. I am happy to nurture and love a child shared with my wonderful husband .
Only right now adoption is a wonderful option I am thinking more and more about.
They say it only lasts around 16-18 weeks right. It will be over before you know it. I love ya, hang in there. love, maria
ReplyDeleteYou're a stong woman- I know you can make it through and keep your positive attitude. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Just keep thinking of holding that beautiful little one in your arms...
ReplyDeleteI could leave a comment reminding you that as rough as it is you should be grateful that you are able to conceive and carry a child when others aren't, or simply tell you that it will end soon, at least by the time that baby comes. :) But I've been there too. My first pregnancy was MISERABLE. Throwing up multiple times a day for 5 straight months. When it finally let up I was beyond grateful!! But during those first 5 months...well, you obviously understand. It's okay to just not like it sometimes. Heavenly Father knows that you're grateful and that you wouldn't trade it. Remember the prophet Joseph's words in Liberty Jail? "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding places?" I'm sure you know the rest. Even the Savior during His suffering in Gethsemane said, "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me." The Savior was perfect, but still didn't ENJOY what he was going through. We don't always have to pretend we're happy to face our trials. We may be grateful for the lessons learned from the rough times, but our Father doesn't expect us to pretend to like it. So complain a little when it's hard. Let Him know how grateful you are for the blessing of this little one, but also tell Him how miserable you're feeling. Because of the atonement of our Savior, he'll send His spirit to comfort you. And eventually, IT WILL END. :) In the mean time, although it won't make you feel better physically, I'm so sorry that you're going through all the yucky sickness!! Hopefully it lets up sooner rather than later!!
ReplyDeleteYou should come down to my house and we can be sick together!!! I get so sick with my pregnancys. With my first preg, I lost 40 pounds, I am only 14 weeks along in this pregnancy, and I have all ready lost 25 pounds! So I will keep you in my prayers! You will get better!
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