Missing Our Boys

This evening Bella and I went to the pool by ourselves. All of our boys are gone. Dad is in Vernal and this week started the one month the boys are with their dad. I will have them home every other weekend. I hate this time. After six years you would think it would get easier. While they are away I don't want to do anything at all. We go to a movie and I think, "Oh the boys would love this." We go to the pool and I hear their voices as I float the lazy river. When we are home I worry cause I don't hear them fighting. I think any minute they are going to come up the stairs with a "Mom you are beautiful" or a complaint about his brother. Belle doesn't cry nearly as much when the boys are away from them touching her or going in her room. The house stays cleaner. I don't really cook much when they are away...Belle wants to eat cereal for every meal. I don't have to fight Taron to let me grill on the barbecue. I don't have to remind Keaton to get his walk in.

BUT I WANT TO DO ALL THOSE THINGS. I know it could be worse. At these times I am grateful for the full time I have them in my home. Stephen deals with this 11 months out of the year. Although I think it is a little different for him, nothing seems to be right when the boys are gone. I know I can't stay in bed the entire month but it sure would be nice. I don't want any memories of my children to be without them.

So here's to counting down July. I hope is goes fast. I pray the boys have a great time and build a stronger relationship with their father, but Mommy can't wait to have you back in her arms.