The last little while I have found my thoughts all in a jumble. Each day it is my focus to bring peace and stillness to my mind, body and spirit. Regrettably some days I am not so successful. Then there are days, even if just for a moment, I feel centered, whole. As I try to look at the balance in my life, I am determining I need to shift a little more emphasis to my spiritual.
At first I resisted this idea. After years, not an exaggeration, of not being able to serve (hold a calling) in my church, I now have this gift restored to me. For the last month I have been teaching Isabella's primary class, conducting the ward choir and most recent given three sisters I have the opportunity to visit each month with an assigned partner. Between these things and trying to have daily scripture study with my kids (OK, maybe more like weekly) and having a planned family home evening I thought my spiritual sphere was full to the brim if not over flowing.
However, while all these things are good and bring me great joy...I can't wait to share about the choir... they are all outward activities. Don't get me wrong, serving fills my soul. Yet, I am not taking time to look inward. Does that make sense? I am not having personal scripture study. I am not very good about my personal prayers. I am not reading quality uplifting material (I am not reading much of anything these days all together).
That said, I won't bother writing about all the stresses as of late (debt, insurance didn't add Olaya-have to wait until next March, still unresolved immigration issues, one more form to file $1000 for immigration, immigration court in October, struggle with ex over child support-otherwise we have great co-parenting relationship, wanting to be with my husband, personal weight loss, helping Keaton with his journey, being enough for my four children, wishing I could do more for our Fijian children, patience, giving Belle the attention she demands while juggling needs of an infant). Yes, I won't write about any of those things.
I will determine to add morning prayer and scripture study to my routine. I have gotten good about giving my body 30 minutes at the start of each day. I need to do the same for my spirit.
I know it can be done and I will do it.......
Why does it seem so hard to fill my own cup?
What do you do to keep balance in your life?
What tips do you have to fitting in personal spiritual activities?
These are not rhetorical questions....all thoughts are welcome.
Did I actually write this? (Of course with the exception of my own struggles and stresses in there, although MANY are similar.) I really feel like I could have written this post. Some things I am better about than others. But I have been feeling this same need to look inward lately, to better my own personal relationship with the Savior and my Heavenly Father. So I will be reading the comments you get in hopes of receiving some tips myself!! A couple of things I have found that help me (although are not always perfect) are to write it down. I make to do lists for everything I need to get done for the day. If personal prayer and scripture study are physically written on my list they are ten times as likely to get done. Another thing for me lately (and by lately I just decided to try it this morning) is that I have decided to say my personal prayers out loud. I usually say them in my head. And my head seems to get scrambled a lot of the time. This helps me to focus on the things I want to say to my Heavenly Father and to feel like I'm actually speaking with him, not just thinking my usual thoughts while I happen to be kneeling by my bed. I loved the way I felt during and after my prayer this morning. I'm sure there are so many different things that work in different ways for different people at different times in their lives. Right now these are the things I'm focusing on to refill my spiritual cup. Hopefully in time I will be able to just keep adding more and more as I go!
ReplyDeleteI have to start my morning with scriptures and exercise or they do not get done. I love this sacred time before my kids wake up. I do have to admit that everytime I have a new baby I get thrown off this routine and it takes me some time to get it back. I often read during naptime in that case. I second saying personal prayers out loud. I am much more focused this way too. There is always more we can do but I have decided there are the essentials that must get done to nurture the spirit and body. I feel more balanced when I am doing that. My house may not be clean but my spirit feels renewed.
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